Have you ever had disagreements or tension with friends? How to navigate and find peace?

Years ago, she sat across the table from me week after week, listening to me be mad about circumstances that had changed my life.

Real anger that caught me off guard.

Death had knocked at my door, bringing me to my knees, feeling like I had been sucker punched.

Confusion, bitterness and asking, was this really God’s plan, were my laments. Eating pizza week after week, after we had fed our souls with Bible study,

she listened,

she challenged,

she reminded me of the Eternal Word of God I said I loved. Her courage to wrestle with me was more than I could have asked for in a sister not related by mother/father blood, but the blood of Jesus.

Then came a fork in the road, I went right, she went left…


Silence that spoke volumes, coming across loud and clear. Ironic how silence speaks.

For more than a year our paths did not cross. Our phones were silent and I chose to continue on a path of silence.

My choice not hers.

How to navigate this strange path, attempting to find peace was new territory. High-school and college friends had changed because of moves, career paths or family circumstances. I had said good-bye many times to life long friends because of our own moves. What to make of why I chose silence was a battle of my own undertaking.

How do you fix brokenness with friends? Brokenness that was my own doing?

I confess I spent most of the year of silence having pity parties, ignoring the Spirit of God to make things right…remember she went right, I went left into the land of forgetfulness. Forgetting how she stood by me during some of my darkest days. Names are not relevant, nor are most of the circumstances I had brought on myself. My guess is, in hindsight, she was

  • praying for me,
  • trusting the God we both loved.. would make it right.

And He did.

With a phone call or text, I forget which, I humbly asked her if we could meet. Over coffee and cheesecake, the silence was broken, prayers were answered and a friendship forged ahead.

How to fix brokenness and silence is a mystery, because it was the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit to mend what I had broken.

  • Forgetting what was behind
  • killing pride in my heart praying God would heal any hurt I had inflicted.

We think we can fix things. We can sound like two-year olds exerting independence, saying

I do it!

When all along, it is


but He,

the power of the Holy Spirit over the fork in the road.