Intersecting Life and Faith

Are You a ‘Harper’?

I don’t remember the exact reasons for our broken engagement, but I know I was so focused on my “needs and wants”, I gave no thought to the man of God Rob was becoming. I knew he was going to be a great man after God’s own heart.

I do remember ‘harping’, today I call it nagging, on the fact he didn’t have time for me. He was very focused on doing well in school, spending  a lot of time in the library or working on a car that didn’t want to run. I was focused on…no need to repeat what I’ve already written. I repeatedly told him where he was falling short, what I needed him to do to improve, what he should or shouldn’t be doing.

Men do not want to hear our laundry list of what they do wrong, or what they don’t do, or what they could do better. Our marriages will look more like Christ when we stop harping(nagging), treating our husbands like our children, treating them as if he is inferior, or a list posted in our minds comparing them to other men. 

We had memorized 1 Corinthians 13 before our wedding, and this passage is read at many weddings. Sadly, we at times think this love passage is for others rather than our spouse. What a difference God’s Word makes when we truly believe it is all we need for life and godliness, including our marriages. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not look out for its own interests…

It was very early in the year of 1985, a long time ago and I can not for the life of me remember how we began communicating again. There were long phone calls and letters. Strange what I do remember is sitting at the top of the stairs in my second floor apartment talking to Rob for hours at a time. He was busy teaching at a Christian school getting ready for his first pastorate. Marriage had been put wherever God wanted it, so I had not given it much thought. I was wondering what was next, possibly getting my Master’s degree when Rob said…


Read from the beginning here.


And no, I haven’t mastered the not ‘harping’!!

1 Comment

  1. Terri

    I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me! 😉 lol

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