Tag Archives: wife

Are You Afraid to Ask?

I haven't used this space over the past seven years(blogging since 2008) to talk about a very important part of married life. I hesitate to talk about marriage, because I know I haven't arrived and who am I to give any advice or even write on  the topic? There are so many resources for marriage, from books, conferences and radio programs. Will my few sentences make a difference? All questions I've pondered for a very long time. As the wife of a pastor who has taken care of the flock of four churches, I have seen the demise of way too many marriages. I 've seen many struggle with trying to stay married. In the hushed whispers of privileged conversations, I've heard gut wrenching sobs of ruined lives because of a marriage that could not stay the course. It is with those things in mind that I wade into the water of sex in marriage. I recently was accepted to help launch this book, 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex and Intimacy. I also helped launch Pulling Back the Shades earlier this year. Both of these books are written by Dr. Juli Slattery who is with Authentic Intimacy. Now, mom, if you're reading, don't blush! But this is such an important aspect of marriage I cannot be quiet anymore. I have not read this book yet, but trust Dr. Juli and her team  and Moody publishers, enough to know what she writes is God centered and based on the Word of God. You can head over to the web site to read the first chapter and some of the questions posed and answered. You can follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or friend me on Facebook where I will be spreading the news about this book in the coming weeks. It hasn't been released yet, but it will be one you will want to add to your library! How would I answer questions about this important subject? You will have to stay tuned for more thoughts on the subject of sex between a husband and wife. It was God's idea in the first place,(Genesis 4:1) so I'm guessing it's ok to talk about. No worries, I will be tasteful. (Genesis 2:25) 25 questions#25Questionsbook

Dusty Women-Lori

9-24-2015 Lori and I had to have been first friends. You can read all about that below. She also helped me with the initial beginnings of Dusty Women, which you can read about below too. Lori recently returned from a trip to Uganda. Not a missions trip per se, but a vision trip of what God is doing in that part of the world. Please read about her travels here, this is a story you don't want to miss. She is a woman of God who inspires me on almost a daily basis. We mostly text a few times a week, or an occasional email. And a fellow coffee drinker when we get to see one another. She brought me something all the way from Africa.  She inspires me in so many ways in her walk with Jesus. She has a way with words but her text to me this morning was one of her best. 

I knew you would savor every drop as you savor our living Lord! Lori 

coffee 2014 Several months ago I came across Titus 2 Tuesday blog posts. Inspired to do the same thing I set out to make a list of my own questions. Women who have encouraged me to be a radical follower of Jesus. Radical in the sense they love God with all the heart, mind and soul and their neighbor as themselves. They are ordinary women who love and serve an Extraordinary God. Women I want to be like so the Word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:5 I wanted a catchy title other than God's Women, so I asked a friend for help and she said
what is something that defines us? Maybe not where we're from but where we're going? I always love the analogy of following Jesus so closely that you get the dust of your shepherd on you. Following in the footsteps of your Shepherd.  So you could call us Dusty Women.
I love the fact that she said we need to be defined by where we're going not where we've been. As Paul says in Philippians 3:12-13...
forget what is behind.
Lori Somers is my next interview in the series of Dusty Women.

206491_205490752807805_3098552_nI don't even know where to begin with my friend Lori. We've known each other...forever. Her mom and mine have been friends since 5th grade and they are in their 70's. In fact, Lori's arrival changed my mom's wedding...kind of. Her mom Sharon was to be in my mom's wedding on July 30 and Lori was born a week prior to that. My mom went to plan B. Now that she and I are in our 50's our story together is very...long. But this post is about her journey not mine or ours, I will save that for another time. When looking for a picture of her there weren't too many to choose from that were just of Lori. Most of the time she is surrounded by 5 grandchildren or walking the dusty roads of Africa. In her spare time she works full time to take care of business, love on her grandchildren and feed her passion to love the least of these. Wouldn't you agree her smile is contagious? The interview follows this picture.

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Lori, would you describe yourself in 5-7 words?

L=Loving  O=Organized  R=Resourceful  I=Intelligent  How about four words? Eli made this for me when he was little and I think it fits pretty well.

Would you briefly describe how and when you were rescued from the domain of darkness and transferred in the Kingdom of God? (Colossians 1:13)

At the time God's saving grace wrapped me in righteousness I was 14 years old. I really didn't understand or know the depths of God's mercy and grace at that time. But I have lived through the depths and seen God's glory reveal itself over and over again. God never changes. His love never fails. I am rescued from the domain of darkness every single day. God's Kingdom awaits me, and He is preparing a place for me. He wrestles me in the valley so that I can proclaim victory in areas of my life that would never produce fruit. Praise God!

What do you enjoy about being a mother and grandmother?

Being a mother tests your resolve and makes you decide what is important. The best part of being a mother is the love. It changes who you are. The best part of being a Grandma is the freedom to play and enjoy every moment without an agenda.

What advice would you give to a young mother struggling to just get through the day?

You have to set aside what the world thinks is important and focus your mind and energy on the attributes of Christ. Phil 4:8 will get you through rough conversations, rough emotions and raw days where nothing goes right. See your family and children as God sees them. Pray for the eyes and heart of Christ to serve your family. The world tells you that if your feelings are intact and it feels good, do it. But wisdom tells us that "right thinking leads to right behavior which leads to right feelings". You can get into trouble if you start out with getting your feelings in order.

What does God's Word mean to you?

God's Word is truth. It makes me alive. It challenges me to have a clear mind and heart in order to speak truth into others.

What does the body of Christ mean to you?

The Family of God is the way God wraps his arms around you when you are hurting, distraught, or when you need someone to make you accountable. The body of believers also rejoices with you in truth and victory!

Coffee or Tea? Coffee

Vanilla or Chocolate? Vanilla Cake; everything else chocolate In addition I asked Lori one more question regarding her life in Christ. She has clung to her Savior's hem getting a lot of dust on her as she seeks to follow Him in everything. Lori, what do you mean when you say
Letting freedom and redemption flood my heart and soul. Not just saying it but believing it.
Its one thing to know in my head I am free. Free from past sin, guilt, chains that bound me to a marriage that was over long before my pride would allow me to acknowledge it was over. I told myself I was free from that, but I kept my windows and doors locked, curtains pulled. That is not freedom. You have to live like you're free and let it flood your mornings, your afternoons and your bedtime. God's redeeming grace tells me its okay, you don't have to look back. And you don't ever have to go through that again. I wanted you to learn to depend on me fully. And I'm redeeming your life, your heart and your service for greater things. I have delivered you from oppression and unlove. God is saying "move with me, lean into me, and let my grace pour over your heart and your life." And I have to be obedient to those words, and those actions. We want logical and black and white words. But Jesus tells us that is no solution at all. He beckons me to come to Him, weary and heavy-laden and He will give me salvation rest, away from my self-made decisions, to trust Him.  I've moved from saying those words to believing that freedom and redemption ARE mine as I follow Him down a new road.

Dusty Women-Kathy

Months ago I came across Titus 2 Tuesday blog posts. Inspired to do the same thing I set out to make a list of my own questions. Women who have encouraged me to be a radical follower of Jesus. Radical in the sense they love God with all the heart, mind and soul and their neighbor as themselves. They are ordinary women who love and serve an Extraordinary God. Women I want to be like so the Word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:5 I ask about coffee or tea and vanilla or chocolate to find out who I will be drinking coffee and eating chocolate cake with!! I wanted a catchy title other than God's Women, so I asked a friend for help and she said
what is something that defines us? Maybe not where we're from but where we're going? I always love the analogy of following Jesus so closely that you get the dust of your shepherd on you. Following in the footsteps of your Shepherd.  So you could call us Dusty Women.
I have known Kathy since we came to Lafayette. I came to know her much better when I sat with her husband Joe while she was in surgery having a mastectomy, and then shortly after that surgery, another mastectomy. Yes, she had breast cancer. As I write, I can hear her saying
This is what God taught me during my breast cancer or her testimony of God being with her through all of it.
Kathy is a friend I've had quite a few adventures with, but this is her story not mine, so I will let her tell it.

Describe yourself in 5-7 words

Child of the King, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, care-giver, friend

Kathy, how did you become a Christian?

My son Joey, was used by God to draw me and my husband to Himself. With Joey being a real handful and my husband on the road driving truck, I felt like a single mother. Through my job, I met a wonderful Christian woman who prayed for me then invited me to her church. I remember the first Sunday I was to go not wanting to get up. Not wanting to let the devil win, I went to church. The following Sunday my husband went and we both wanted what the people at the Church had. We gave our hearts to Christ that weekend.  I felt like a new person and I was and am a new person in Christ. I am truly thankful to God everyday with my mission in life to look like Jesus.

What does God's Word mean to you?

God's Word amazes me! As I walk along my path being a Christian, God's Word becomes more precious. During my struggles I remember Philippians 4:13; Romans 8:28. Wow, I was called according to His purpose. When I was going through my breast cancer I remember the Lord giving me His wonderful grace to face everything. I knew I was never alone and He took away my fears. It is a wonderful feeling knowing His grace and I know His grace will someday lead me home.

What does the Church, the body of believers, mean to you?

Every time I am with my Church family, I feel love and acceptance. Fellowship with other Christians brings me great joy. I am the crazy lady asking people after church, "What are you doing for lunch?" I also know the body of Christ will always be with me like a warm blanket covering me with love and prayer.

What do you enjoy about being a wife? Mother? Grandmother?

I was married at 19. I know now I didn't know what real love was. The Lord blessed me with a caring and loving man. He has seen me at my worst and still loves me. I know this by the way he takes care of me when I'm sick. I enjoy the companionship we share. There are times I will think about something and he will say, "I was just thinking about that!" I enjoy most of all is the caring and love we share even if it is just watching TV together. I am glad we are together as in the early years, it was the Lord who kept us together. As a mother I enjoy the bond and love I have with my three adult children. I enjoy the love they have for me as well, even though they can break my heart at times. I love EVERYTHING about being a grandmother. I love spending time with them. I could spend all day on the floor playing with them. Of course, there is nothing feels better than the love they give back.

Do you drink coffee or tea?

I drink black coffee with an ice-cube. I like my coffee strong!(me too) There's nothing worse than a wimpy cup of coffee.

Do you prefer vanilla or chocolate?

I usually will get chocolate, but I can be swayed if I can get french vanilla. My favorite indulgence is milk chocolate candy. DOVE brand is the best!