I wish I could say I have my act together, my life organized and heading in one direction. Fact is, I can't lie. If you see me on the street, well..walking, not actually on the street, you will see a pretty much put together person. But this picture sums up the past several weeks and the days to come. It is easy to feel like your head is spinning most of the time. With too much coming and going we sometimes forget to enjoy the go, go, going.
Why am I trudging through a bad marriage(not me), why can't I get my finances in order(not me) and why did one of my dearest friends have to die(gain, not me) are just a few questions I've heard this week, causing us to lose focus and our purpose for the day. What is the hub of our heart on a daily basis? Focusing on the problem and not on the Great Problem Solver shows us where our hearts lie. Can I cry out to God in the middle of neediness and affliction? Do I believe He is my only Help and Deliverer? (Psalm 70:5)
As Justin left a week ago for a new adventure in Wyoming Hannah arrived back in Lafayette from her overseas travel. Add to the mix a busy teenager and life in the parsonage, this girl in the green shirt has been me. Arriving this week for a visit is my Mom from Iowa along with Lori a life long friend. Kelsey will make her way home this weekend filled with apple picking, birthday celebrations, coffee sipping, including Kopi Luwak, on the deck and a couple of days of memory making before everyone heads back home early next week. A week from Wednesday, October 1, Hannah and I will pile into her Honda Civic with all her earthly belongings(this isn't her car, but you get the idea of what we will be piling into)
heading west across country, landing in Phoenix, AZ where she will live with family until she gets a job and apartment. Yes, two children will be thousands of miles away. And yes, I will cry as I head back east on an airplane to my beloved family in New York, church family included. But, I will also be happy for the four children God gave me who are pursuing their dreams, who are living life to the fullest and will continue to cause their momma's (their word for me) to spin.
In keeping with the 'mom' theme, here is a re-post from last year. Not just for moms, but for all of us who think we can hide our hearts from God.
I never wanted to be "that" mom.
We all know her don't we?
She is the one walking through the store yelling at the three kids hanging on her pants like monkeys in the zoo. She is trying with all that is in her to not be inpatient, unkind or rude to the lovely children God has given her...thinking in the back of her mind
What ever possessed me to have kids?
She is the mother daydreaming of five minutes alone in the bathroom while her kids play in the living room, with one yelling at the bathroom door she needs to go to the dr...her collarbone may be broken...again.
She is the young mom who is home all day with three kids four and under who desperately needs a nap when the kids are supposed to be having 'quiet time.'
And she is the mom of teens who think they know it all and she just wants to scream back
I wasn't born yesterday!!
I have been "that" mom
. Maybe not in public, at least I think I held my tongue while in the grocery store. But, last week may have been a different story. I did not have any words of wisdom for a teen daughter who only wanted(and did really need) a new pair of sneakers. She did not hear a mother who had loving instruction on her tongue while we walked through the third store looking for the right size shoe for a growing girl.(Proverbs 31:26) She has the benefit of three siblings going before her and whom I practiced on for 20+ years, I thought I had this 'mom' thing in the bag, but last week I did not. I had become 'that' mom, again not yelling or reprimanding in the store or in public. But I don't think it matters if I hid my nasty heart from the viewing public. God saw and sees, in the end it is His opinion of me that matters. I want to be a woman who fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:30), I don't want to be