Tag Archives: Jesus

Missing The Point

Come December our thoughts turn to Christmas. If you live at the Gates house, we love to celebrate and typically begin Christmas music around Thanksgiving. This year it was a week before...for me anyway. Some, whom I will not name, have been known to have it on in July.  Our celebration of the newborn King include decorations, a white Christmas tree which you have to see to believe. The neighbors who drive by and can see it glowing in our picture window have commented it is very pretty. You're welcome to come see for yourself!!  I love to bake, mostly to give away to friends and neighbors, and we love to buy gifts for our family. Please stop by and enjoy our tree, there might even be some baked goods waiting for you!!! The past several years my mind has turned to Mary, the mother of Jesus. Much has been written about her, who she was, why it was prophesied she would be a virgin and how old she might have been and where she gave birth. I was researching her again this year and was reminded how easy it is to become so focused on the minor points of her life and forget the most important point of the Christmas story.
Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God, became a descendant of Adam so that He could ultimately go to the Cross and die in our place. Now the descendants of Adam can be saved from an eternity of separation from their Creator. God gave His Son to this world, which is the greatest gift that could ever be given. Let us celebrate this truth and tell the world about God's amazing love. Tim Chaffey(Answers in Genesis)
How easy it is to get caught up in the rush of the holidays that I do not take the time to sit down, read the Word of God that was written to me and remember why God gave the Greatest Gift. He gave so I could be rescued from the domain of darkness; apart from Christ I am completely destitute. (Colossians 1:13) If that isn't the best present ever then I don't know what is. God loved me so much He gave, He loved, He loves lavishly. (1 John 3:1) I also do not want to miss the point of who Mary was. Luke 1:28 says she was "favored by God".  The Message says it best
Good morning! You're beautiful with God's beauty, Beautiful inside and out! God be with you.

What To Do With Grief

Because I am in a unique position of pastor's wife, I see and experience so much joy, blessings, and sorrow. The reason the past couple of weeks, and since Christmas, have been so painful is because I attempt to live life to the fullest and embrace people and try to love well.But those I love and embrace will die, and they have, but I cannot keep people at arm's length, what fun is that? When life is lived filled to the brim and overflowing, there will be so much joy...but there will also be much sadness and grief. I am finding I process grief through writing. Which is how Confessions of A Farmer's Daughter was birthed. Shortly after my dad passed away over seven years ago, I was determined to write the book I had begun so many years ago, and it took over six to complete. Yes, it is still available!! I hope you will hang with me as I process again. We all grieve differently. Scores of books have been written on the subject. There are grief groups, and grief seminars, etc. So much information on the subject, but what do I do when faced with someone who has just lost a loved one, be it suddenly or after a long illness? I've asked those questions myself. What do I say? How do I act? Will I say the wrong thing?  I asked my mom several years ago to talk to me about what happens when the funeral is over, the dinner has been eaten and the flowers disbursed, and the family members have gone back to their own lives before it was forever changed. Her wisdom, along with a few ways I am adding, follow on how to help those who are grieving 
  • It's ok to weep with those who weep. Don't be ashamed or afraid of tears. 
  • Call. Don't know what to say? Simply,'Hi, just calling to see how you are doing today. Would you like to go out for coffee, lunch or dinner' Better yet, invite them to your home or ask if you can bring a meal and eat with them. 
  • Be there to listen and offer practical help. Don't say--call me if you need something, offer to help with something specifically. Does the widow need help with her car, the house or navigating finances? Does the widower know how to cook? Does he need help with keeping the house cleaned up? We are all different in what we want help with, but don't neglect, offer specific help, they will tell you if they want your help in that area. 
  • Don't avoid those who have lost a spouse. Yes, this happens. The two are now one, and to even write that sentence brings sadness, but embrace those who are grieving. They don't need our words of wisdom, they need to know they can count on us to walk with them. My knee jerk reaction is to want to do everything I can to lessen the pain. But, I can't. They will eventually have to be alone, will have to learn to navigate a different life and I can't do that, I wish I could. But Jesus is in the darkness and he holds onto us no matter what. 
Our dear Pastor Brian spoke during the Sunday morning service last week. His words were simple and to the point. He is leaning hard on God and is stayed by the promises of God. He said he doesn't know how he would have gotten through this sudden loss of his wife without the family of God surrounding him and helping him get through these initial days. He can count on this community of believers to love him, ask him how he is today, because everyday will be different. He knows God is sovereign, His God loves Him, and that is how he faces tomorrow.  May we all love, because God first loved us.

I Choose You

A re-write from previous years.  Twenty-nine years ago this time of year, my dad was not done getting his corn and soybeans out of the field. When Rob and I,(mostly me) suggested November 9 as our wedding day I was sure dad would be done and he wouldn't have to take a day off from farming to walk his firstborn down the aisle.  Rob proposed the first week of June and his thought was to be married in the summer. No...he didn't know it took a few months to plan a wedding, even one in a small country church with the reception in the basement. It wasn't a fancy wedding where thousands upon thousands of dollars were spent. We had humble beginnings. On Sunday, twenty-nine years ago, I became Mrs. Rob Gates. Almost five years previous I laid eyes on him for the first time. My college days on a small town Bible college campus were full of studies of God's Word, courses in missions and a lot of time spent at the library...not to study but to meet up with the guy who spent most of his time there.  We had fun too...didn't have a lot of money to spend on dates, but long talks in the cafeteria kitchen while he washed pots and pans are some of my fondest memories. We did go our separate ways after college graduation, but that story is told in As The Parsonage Turns category. I can't remember a day I did not want to be married and have kids. There were other choices, but I chose to be a wife, pastor's wife and mother, although I didn't give much thought to being a pastor's wife, that's another post too. I'm thinking about choices today, because of Hannah choosing to travel across the ocean, of Justin choosing the military many years ago and now choosing to live in Wyoming with his wife. Kelsey's choice to nanny in Italy several years ago. The opportunities available to all of us today are vast, unlimited and far-reaching. I think of two single gals from our church who have been missionaries in Africa and Bolivia, they chose to follow God's leading in their lives. And what does this have to do with an approaching anniversary? Twenty-eight nine ago I was losing sleep because I was so excited to spend the rest of my life with the man God had brought into my life. Two more sleeps and a new adventure would begin. Has it been easy? No. But it in a good way, because we have done life together. For richer and poorer, sickness and health we made a promise before God and many witnesses that we would stay together...only because of Christ. He is the glue, sometimes the only glue that has kept us plodding along in this great adventure called marriage. In a conversation this week with one of my kids she was telling me of a good friend whose marriage is failing and how sad she was. She said "it's so unfortunate to see so many marriages failing these days." I know I went into marriage with blinders on, thinking marriage would make me happy. Rob and I have been happy together, but if happiness is the goal of staying married then marriages will fail. Staying married is a choice. A choice to persevere and honor God. (To my divorced friends, this is not a post to make you feel you've failed or make you feel guilty) Hoards of books have been written on the subject, so I will simply say how thrilled I am to be celebrating our marriage, which I think is the best way to fight same-sex "marriage". Celebrate our lives together, work on our own marriages and honor God in our own lives before we take up the fight. Today I would choose you, Rob Gates, all over again. No regrets, no wishing I should have chosen another path. Happy to continue plodding with you. unnamed