Women who hope in God are women who look away from the troubles and miseries and obstacles of life that seem to make the future bleak, and they focus their attention on the sovereign power and love of God who rules in heaven and does on earth whatever he pleases. John PiperKeeping this quote current is more for my sake than yours as I need to remember this on a daily basis. You will probably see it frequently in these posts. In writing about our earlier life...my memory fails me, hey it's been almost 27 years and I'm 50 so I have an excuse. I do remember wanting to be married and so I was. Rob went to the office and I plopped on our waterbed wondering what I should do. A wave, not literally, of loneliness and isolation was washing over me. I was 500 miles from family, I didn't know anyone yet and most of our congregation whom we loved dearly were old enough to be our parents or grandparents. My schooling in finding my identity in Christ and not in any role as wife, mother or pastor's wife was about to begin, and Jesus is a good teacher. I wanted to follow him in everything I did. Of course all this is in hind sight, and my training in righteousness is not over yet, but I wanted to find myself in Christ, there would be many lessons in this class of life. And I remember I wanted to be a mother and so I was with our first two born within 2 and 3 years after we were married and twenty-one months apart. My life was very full of diapers, dishes and dinner. And I remember the struggles of a young family. I was happy and I knew without a doubt I had done the right thing in marrying and having a family...to this day I WOULD NOT change how I have done anything, but I still struggled, to the point Rob suggested I leave and go home to my parents... We were out to eat alone, don't remember who was babysitting, but he said maybe you would be happier with your parents for awhile. He didn't suggest this because he wanted me to leave, he wanted me content and happy in what I was doing...had it come to this? stay with my parents for awhile?
For most of you reading this it will come as a surprise that this was ever a possibility, but I share openly and transparently with my readers that I've had and have the very same struggles you have. My goal for As The Parsonage Turns is to point you to Jesus Christ who saved me from myself many years ago and is an ongoing journey I take. I also want these posts to be an encouragement and help to my fellow ministry wives...a special class of women whom I love.
I couldn't believe I heard him right. He wasn't suggesting this for his sake, but for mine. Had I given him the impression I would be happier elsewhere?